What's in a Name

       

     Words are powerful.  So are names.  That power though can have negative or powerful energy attached to it.

            Take for example, calling someone a genius.  Whether or not that person would officially classify as a genius, the energy associated with that name is usually positive.  However, calling someone a monster probably will not be received with the same positive energy.

            Whether in the work environment, the community, or a school setting, words can change the course of a day, and in some cases, the course of someone’s life.

            Today is World Day of Bullying Prevention.  Observed the first Monday in October, adults and children are encouraged to wear blue to show their solidarity with the organization, “STOMP out Bullying.”

            Bullying has become a hot button topic lately, especially now that the practice has spread online, and cyberbullying has become a big issue.

            It’s unfortunate and sad that students are singled out because of the way the dress, their race, their religious affiliation, or any differences that may make them easy targets.

            Last Friday in Michigan, a 16 year old girl, Whitney Kropp, rose above what seemed to be a high school prank.  Kropp had been picked on in the past, and some students suggested her nomination to be on the homecoming court was just a joke.

            Kropp, who gained national attention, received huge support from the community, with businesses donating everything from her hair style to the dress she wore for the homecoming game.  Even students from the opposing school wore Kropp’s favorite color, orange, to show their support.

            Most stories do not end like this though.  Students who are bullied often times suffer long term effects.  And of course, adults are victims of bullying too.

            But.

            What about the bullies?  Who are they?  And what are their needs? 

            To the parent of a bullying victim, these may seem like unfair questions that make the bully seem like a victim.  Well, let’s follow that trail for a moment.

            Child expert Michelle Borba contends that some of the reasons children bully may include, they may have received too rigid or harsh discipline and “conditional love; they may be former victims of bullying needing protection; they may use the aggression to seek attention or power, or they may be allowed to get away with aggressive behavior at home, just to name a few.

            So while bullies should be disciplined properly, held accountable for their actions, and educated on the proper way to handle challenges, perhaps true prevention starts with love.  Oversimplifying?  Well, the Beatles did contend, “All You Need is Love.”  However, let’s go back to Borba’s reasons for bullying.

            In each of the reasons outlined above, I think unconditional love from parents, guardians, and the community is a part of an effective prevention strategy.  Discipline is a form of love and the proper discipline for a bully is a necessary teaching tool.  Still, before there is ever a need for discipline and before there is ever an issue; could unconditional love and proper attention be part of the key to prevention? 

            Have adults become too busy and successful to show children love?  Are adults giving love through gifts, trips, and loose rules? 

            Have teachers been taxed with too many students, too much work, and too many rules to the point where it’s very challenging to give students the kind of attention they need and deserve?

            What about the word, bully?  Not the warmest label in the world and I am sure there are those who may contend that people just need to call a spade a spade.  Still, for the child who is already insecure, and is only trying to protect himself, how does this word make him or her feel?

            For parents whose children have been beaten, physically abused, or from their perspective, scarred for life, these questions may stir up anger and resentment.  It’s an understandable reaction and my heart goes out to you.

            There is room for discussion and a lot of room for improvement.  Does prevention start at home or at school?  Should parents be held accountable for their children who bully?  What support programs could help students who are bullying victims?

If all we need is love, what are you doing today and everyday to make the world free from bullies?