Seeing is Believing

    

       Recently I visited Garden City, Kansas.  I had never heard of it though I was scheduled to speak at Garden City Community College and fortunately there was an airport in town.
            As we made our final approach into the city, I gazed out the window, hoping to catch a downtown skyline off in the distance. 
            Nothing.
            In fact, except for far off street lights, the only thing I could see were the lights on the runway.  When we got off the plane, I saw that there was only one airline.  One gate.  One terminal.  One restaurant.  One baggage claim.  That's the picture of the entire airport above.
            As we walked into the airport, the complaints started.
            “Where is this place?”
            “Have I stepped into the Twilight Zone?”
            What I noticed though, amid the fact that yes, it was indeed small, was that the rental car counter was 10 feet away from the door I entered.  My walk from the airplane, to the rental car counter, and to baggage claim to collect my bag, was less than 10 minutes.  My rental car was parked curb side and my contract and keys were waiting when I arrived.  NEVER have I walked from plane through the airport and to my rental car in less than 20 minutes.
            NEVER!
            Of course the return flight was equally as easy.  From my return to the rental car row, to inside the airport and through security was less than 10 minutes.  When I stepped on the plane, I noticed we had the same flight crew from the night before when I arrived.  I asked the flight attendant how was her night in Garden City.  More complaints.
            Now, I am not saying I am ready to pack my bags so I can live in the town with the small airport; however, while I was there, I chose to look at the positive side of the experience.
            Is the glass full or is it half empty?  I chose to see it half full. I know, it’s such a cliché saying that sometimes we bypass the importance and significance of it in our daily lives.
            A better way to think of this might be the way Dr. Wayne Dyer, one of my favorite teachers, says it.  “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
            However you see the “glasses” in your life is a choice.  No one can make you see a glass as half empty, or a small airport as a step in the Twilight Zone.

 

            How you CHOOSE to see the world is the world you will experience.  Are you making wise choices?

           

There's No Place Like Home

            I absolutely love The Wizard of Oz.  Even though I know exactly what’s going to happen at every turn in the movie, I still get anxious when the Wicked Witch is trying to get Dorothy.  Oh, and the songs- I know those things by heart!  It’s such a universal reminder that truly, there is no place like home.          

          Recently I visited my great aunt and uncle in Los Angeles while I was in town on business.  It was my first visit to their home and I was so happy to see them.  After we played catch up for a while, they dropped me off in downtown where I was scheduled to meet a friend for dinner.               

        As we rode through the LA Live area where the Staples Center is located, my aunt got super excited, stating, “I’ve never been here before.” I must admit, it was awesome.  The restaurants, the big screen televisions and all the people walking around got me excited too.

            The Staples Center has been around since 1999.  And, my aunt and uncle have been in Los Angeles for well over 25 years.  More importantly, they live less than 10 minutes away from the arena.

            While I could understand why a non basketball fan may have never visited the arena, I found it just a little odd that she had never even been in the area.  (In case you are wondering, yes, my uncle had been to the area, though not the actual arena.)

            That night, I started to ponder how many people are missing out on the treasures close to home.  And I am not talking about some good restaurants or cool hang out joints.  

            I am talking about people, resources, and opportunities that could be life changing.  I remember when I published my first book.  Once I set the goal of doing the book and set a release date, I learned that one of my closest friends at the time was a graphic designer.  I already owned the painting that became my book cover.  And, I had a friend 45 minutes away who had just released his book, so he was an invaluable consultant. 

            In a way, I was kind of like Dorothy when she received guidance from Glenda, the Good Witch, “You’ve always had the power.”  I could have written my book many years earlier, but I just did not realize I had the power to do so all along.        

            If someone told you that you could graduate from college with a 4.0, would you believe him?  If a friend said that you could easily start a business with the little side hustle you make a few dollars from, could you see that?  Or, if a co-worker complimented you on your clothes, could you see yourself as a stylist?

            You have the power to change your life and in fact, the entire world.  Are you ready and willing to use it?

Give us Free

           The movie Amistad was a great educating film.  One of the most memorable lines in the film for me was “Give us free.”  I was reminded of that line and the movie recently.
            I visited an uncle in prison a couple of weeks ago.  It was the first time I had ever been to a prison and the first time in several years I had seen him.  I was a little anxious.  I had no idea what to expect.
            When I first arrived and walked toward the entrance, I had to be buzzed in through two gates before even entering the prison.  I remember standing there for what seemed like an eternity after I rang the bell before I was allowed to enter.  And, it seemed to make sense to me that since I entered one gate, the next one would automatically open, or at least open quickly after I rang the bell.  No such luck.  I still had to wait longer than what I thought was necessary.
            I immediately concluded that I NEVER wanted to be in prison.  Okay, not that I had been contemplating a stay in the big house, but, those few minutes of being told when I could enter a place that was isolated with barbed wire fencing with no access to family or friends sealed the deal.
            My visit went well and then after leaving my I.D. and keys at the front desk, I collected those items and again, waited to be buzzed out of three different doors to leave.  “If you do the crime, then you have to do the time,” is a saying I have often heard.  But, what’s sad is many people are doing time and they don’t even know it.  Yes, many of us, at various times in our lives are in our own self made prisons.
            Anytime you allow another individual to control your happiness, that’s prison.  When you limit your goals because you think only certain groups of people can achieve certain things, that’s prison.  If you allow yourself to believe you deserve misery, a bad job, an abusive relationship, or fill in the blank by what’s limiting you, that’s prison. 
            It’s no fun to be locked up in a state or federal institution.  But for some, rehabilitation is possible, and they can reenter society as productive citizens.  I have a high school classmate who has done just that and is on a personal crusade to mentor others so they do not go down the same path he did.
            What’s crazy is to be a prisoner of your own self imposed limitations.  What’s absolutely insanity though, is to not even realize it.
            How many places in your life have you given away your freedom?  And, what are you willing to do to reclaim it?

Learn While You Earn

      A couple of nights ago, I met a colleague for dinner.  Wonderful restaurant.  Exceptional service.  Enticing Food.  The ambiance was impeccable and we had a great time catching up on our respective businesses.
            I had only been to the restaurant twice, so we both had a few questions about the menu.  After looking through the appetizers and the entrees, we perused the drinks.
            “What’s a Grand Marinara,” I asked.  (Well, that’s how I pronounced it)
            “You mean a Grand Marnier?” my friend responded.
            The waitress laughed.  In fact we all laughed.  I had never seen that word before and on that night, in addition to trying a new type of sushi, I learned something new.
            It reminded me of Mrs. Simpson’s 8^th grade language arts class.  I was in an organization called Forensics, a speech and debate team.  Mrs. Simpson gave me the opportunity to practice my speech in front of the class as we had a countywide competition coming up and I was scheduled to participate.
            I performed a scene with Scarlett and Prissy from the classic book, Gone With the Wind.  There was nothing funny about that scene.  Yet every now and then, my classmates would chuckle.  Okay, I had been performing enough at this point that I knew how to maintain my composure and not get distracted.  So, I kept going.
            The chuckles continued.  I did get a little self conscious.  Maybe something was hanging out of my nose.  Perhaps my zipper was down.  Or, my hair.  Something was up with my hair.        
            It was none of the above.  Actually, in the excerpt I performed I talked about meeting someone at the d. pot. (That’s how I said it.)  When my speech was over, I learned it was the train depot.  
            It was embarrassing.  In fact, many of my classmates who signed my yearbook at the end of the year still referenced that performance.  Even Mrs. Simpson signed my yearbook, stating how well I performed that day.
            Fast forward more than a decade later, and I found myself in a similar situation in the restaurant that night.  But I wasn’t embarrassed at all.  What’s changed since 8^th grade?
            I understand the concept of learning while you earn.  As long as I am serving and contributing to the world, I will be learning new things.  I didn’t always feel this way though.  There was a time that when I graduated from college I thought that was it.  No more tests.  No more learning.  And I operated from that close minded perspective for a long time too. It was a costly stance to have. 
            I have heard it said that the “day you stop learning is the day you stop living.”  It took a while, but I finally made the choice to be open to learning, not just a new word at a restaurant, but investing in classes and training on a regular basis.  For me, I have had a high return on that investment.              
               Are you committed to being a lifelong learner?

Making Good Use of Your G.P.S.?

         I must admit, I am hooked on the GPS feature on my phone.  The Global Positioning System is an awesome tool.  While I have a very good sense of direction and usually, after driving some place once, I can get back there on my own, still with all of the travel I do, it’s nice to have the option of getting from A to B with ease.
            A couple of days ago, one of my dear friends had planned to visit me after she wrapped up a business trip in Texas.  Two hours before she was to arrive, she sent me a text that read:

            “I missed my flight.  I think I’m gonna try to go straight home.”

            Two hours later, after unsuccessful attempts to get a flight home, she called.  In a detailed one hour account, she recalled her day.  She arrived to her conference late, had to walk from her hotel to the conference(which was further away than she thought), and missed the chance for group introductions, so she was quite flustered.       

       However, she made to the airport 4 hours early, with a chance to breath and make some follow up emails to her new connections.  She pulled out her laptop bag, plugged in the cord, and realized, HER LAPTOP WAS NOT IN THE BAG.            

            Panic knocked on her chest.  Fear tapped throughout her spine.  Sweat slid down her back.  Someone had stolen her life. (a.k.a. known as her laptop)  Before pandemonium took up residence, she got en email on her phone.  Someone from the conference found her laptop and planned to mail it to her.

            Since she had 4 hours to spare, she decided to leave the airport, rent a car, and pick up her laptop.  Following a few longer than necessary conversations with unhelpful rental agents, she made it back into town and picked up her laptop.           

By this time, she was hungry and she noticed a steakhouse attached the hotel.  She decided she would order a steak to go, and take it back to the airport with her. But…..     

       She admits she heard a voice telling her, she didn’t have time.  However, that didn’t make sense because she was only going to pick up a meal to go, and that way she did not have to stop on the way back to the airport.            

     What should have been a 15 minute order turned into 25 minutes.  When she got back in the rental car, she realized the time on the clock was actually 15 minutes behind the time on her cell phone, which was accurate.  She drove past the rental car return entrance on the way back to the airport, which meant she had to drive around the terminal again.  She was stopped at security because she forgot she had bottle water in her carryon bag. And…. 

           She MISSED her flight.

            If only she had listened to the voice of guidance telling her, she did not have time for that steak, perhaps she would have made that flight.  Instead, she was stuck in the airport all night.            How often do you use your G.P.S., or your Guidance Providing Suggestions?  We all have an internal G.P.S.  That voice that says, “do this,” or “get out of bed early,” or “stay away from that.”    

        If you pay close attention, like my friend, you will find yourself having a conversation with that voice.  The question to ask is, are you fighting against guidance or flowing with?  

            Are you making good use of your GPS?

Mastering the relay of your message

        As I thought about what I might do for the upcoming Fourth of July Holiday, I was reminded of what I did this past Memorial Day.  My family did not have our traditional cook-out or fish fry.  (Note:  A fish fry is a fish themed meal- usually heavy on the fish, deep fried, often outside and in the case of my mother, in a wash pot.  Cole slaw, potato salad and hush puppies are popular sides.)
            It was a little different this year.  In fact, I had talked my dad into doing some father-daughter bonding.  The master relay on my car needed to be replaced.  I had already diagnosed it by checking the symptoms on the internet.  I even found a video detailing how to replace the part.  I figured my dad and I could do it together.
            So, on Memorial Day instead of devouring a burnt hot dog, a charcoaled tender steak or feasting on hot fried fish drenched in Texas Pete, my dad and I watched a couple of “how to videos” on replacing the master relay, then headed out to my car.
            My dad started by removed the cruise control panel to expose the master relay.  Then it was my turn to contribute.  We interrupt this blog for a special bulletin.  I am not and have never been mechanically inclined.  I know to keep my oil changed regularly and my tires rotated for longer wear.  That’s it.  I can change a tire if I got in a pinch, but by no stretch of the imagination and I the Danika Patrick of car repair. We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog, already in progress. 
            I slid down under the steering panel.  With a flashlight in one hand and a screwdriver in another, I began removing the master relay.  It was pretty simple.  Once I got the part off, I handed it to my dad with the intention of getting him to install the part.  He had something else in mind.              
        “Since you are already down there, you can put it on,” he said.
            Me?  Install a part on a car that’s not a floor mat?  Me?  Oh, well, since I learned to obey my parents early, I did it.  But not without a challenge.
            Removing the old part was simple.  Getting that new master relay on though was tough. It’s a tight spot.  It’s very dark under the steering wheel panel.  My dad tried to hold the flash light for me at one point.  That did not work too well because the space was so tight, he was prohibited my movement.  I tried to prop the light up.  It fell on my face and busted my lip.  Ouch!
            I sat up for a while.  Then I slid back under the panel.  I sat up again. And then under the panel, I resumed my position.  This went on literally for at least 30 to 45 minutes.  
            The “how to video” said the entire process should take 30 minutes from start to finish.  I became frustrated.  I was sweating.  My clothes were sticking to me like barbecue sauce.  I took deep breaths.  I sat up…..AGAIN.
            And finally, I got the master relay in place.  VICTORY!  My dad replaced the cruise control panel, which took him a little while to do too and my car was all repaired.
            I decided to replace my master relay because “they” said it was simple and I even had help.  But, had I known my experience would be a much more difficult than what “they” said, would I have ventured into the land of car repairs?  NO DOUBT!
            Yes, it was harder than expected.  Yes, it took more time than I had planned. Yes, there were casualties- well maybe not casualties, but my lip hurt for quite some time after that flash light smashed into it.
            And yet, with all of that, aside from the victory of replacing the part, I realized something.  Winning is easier when you refuse to accept defeat.  Consistent winning is how you master a thing.
            So, have you mastered the relay of your message?  Yes, I am talking to you!  Everyone has a message.  And mastering how you relay that message is critical to success.
            Maybe you are the soon to be doctor who decided to go into medicine after losing a parent to a preventable disease.  Perhaps you are the student headed to law school who wants to help low income families in court because one of your childhood friends needed legal advice but could not afford it.  There are lots of possibilities.
            Identify your message.  Master the relay.

           

No Room at the Inn

            Saturday night was a big night for sports- Game 7 in the NBA Eastern Conference Finals between Boston and Miami and the anticipated return of Manny Pacquaio to the ring to fight Tim Bradley in a boxing match.
            I decided to watch the game with one of my girlfriends at a local sports bar.  When we arrived, neither of us could find a park because the place was PACKED like a shoe store on the release day of the new Jordans.  In fact, we both ended up parking about 2 blocks away.
            Once inside, it was standing room only.  I passed many people leaving as I arrived because they had given up on getting a seat.  The game was already in full swing, almost at the end of the first quarter.  People were standing around tables, televisions, and anywhere there was available space.
           We were on the waiting list which at this point, was really a joke.  Ten people were ahead of us and almost everyone who was already seated was in for the long haul, for both the game and the fight.
            We had a couple of options.  There was another neighborhood grill next door where we could watch the game.  But it was empty inside and the excitement of experiencing the game with a group of energized fans was not happening there.
            Or, we could suck it up and just decide we would stand along with the other dedicated fans.  And that was our decision….
                   For about two minutes.  Then I was inspired to seek out a third choice.
            “I’m going to walk around and see if there are any empty seats around the restaurant,” I told Tara.
            “Okay.  I will be here waiting for you,” she said.
            I walked directly to a table with four chairs, three of them were filled.
            “Is this seat taken, I asked,” trying to smile to let them know I would be a friendly fan to watch the game with for the evening.
            “No, it’s not.  Have a seat,” one of them said.
            I sat down for a couple of minutes.  Made quick small talk… explaining that I had a friend who also needed a seat too.  
            I walked back to Tara, excited to say that I had found a table with one seat.  Now, Tara just needed to find one more seat to bring to that table of four.
            Tara was a little shy.  
            “I’m not that bold to go up to someone to ask about a seat,” she said.
            I approached 2 tables before I found another seat for her.  And then back to my chair across the restaurant that was kept occupied by my umbrella.
            The threesome became a fivesome and before long we were all enjoying the game together and eventually the fight.
            At first glance, there was no room at the inn…. At least that’s the way it seemed.  I passed people when I was two blocks away, who said there were no seats. 
            When I walked to the front door, people walked out beside me, discussing plans to find another place to go get wings and watch the game.
            And even when I put my name on the list, the hostess said no one was likely leaving until after the fight, suggesting that I would not get a seat.
            Still, when it seemed like I only had two options, I got an intuitive nudge to try to find a seat in what seemed like a completely filled restaurant.
            How many times have you walked away from where you wanted to be because it looked like there was no room for you?  Did you not apply for a scholarship because over 3000 people had already applied and it seemed hopeless?
            Maybe you put off getting a website because everything you read stated a website was very expensive.
            Or, was it the house that seemed completely out of your budget that you just didn’t bid on.
           What’s your inn?   Where does it appear to be no room for you?  And more importantly, how can you find your place there?